Man and Woman (Part 1)

The Role of The Sexes In Marriage

I’m probably going to catch some heat for this one, but the role of the sexes is a crucial topic that needs continued discussion. Forewarning, I am a bible enthusiast so this article will contain points from a Christian perspective. I just believe that the bible offers the best explanation for the roles men and women are to play in life.

Let’s start this conversation off with the elephant in the room. Are men and women created equal? Let’s look to the bible for some insight.

1 Corinthians 11: 11–12 says “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also a man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”

I believe this passage of scripture not only highlights how man and woman need each other but how they are equals before the Lord. If neither one repents nor dedicates their life to serving Yeshua in the way that is intended, then both will earn eternal damnation. Both were created by Yahweh, for Yahweh and thus man and woman are bound to each other for our Creator’s purpose. Then when you backtrack to verses 8–9 it says, “For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”

So, even though man and woman are equal before the Lord, they each were assigned a set of tasks — some different, some charges the same.

For Adam according to Genesis 2: 15–17 says “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

Adam was given the task of tending the garden the Lord placed him in — along with abstaining from eating any fruit originating from the tree of knowledge.

And when you fast-forward to verses 19–20 it reads “Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So, the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.”

So, in addition to taking care of Eden and obeying Yahweh’s commands, Adam had also been given the task of naming the livestock, birds, and wild animals. We even learn that he named his companion - woman.

Genesis: 2:23 states “The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman.’ for she was taken out of man.”

Reverting back to 1 Corinthians 11: 8–9, we are told that woman was created for man. He was in need of a helper.

Genesis 2:18 says “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God saw that with all the man was charged with, man was going to need a companion to assist him with his duties and uphold Yahweh’s commandments. Another commandment I will add here comes from Genesis 1:28 which says “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Together, man and woman, were charged with the preservation of the earth and of life for mankind. Besides this charge, woman was not given a specific task other than to help her husband. And Yahweh had not repeated to her the same commandments he had given to man. Instead, Yahweh allowed the man to assume his leadership role and guide woman in the ways of righteousness.

One of the main reasons for the fall was because man and woman had not executed their roles properly. Genesis 3:1–6 says “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, “You must not eat from any tree in the garden?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, “You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” You will certainly not die,” the serpent said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

In these few passages of scripture, we see the serpent had convinced the woman that Yahweh was a liar. The idea that her creator would lie to her in such a way probably made her angry. Her anger turned to defiance and the desire for knowledge became all-consuming. So, she chose wisdom over Yahweh — wisdom over life and paid the price for her disobedience. Then, when the woman offered the man the fruit, instead of him acting like a true leader, he forfeited his role to follow the woman’s lead which led to his fall from grace.

For both man and woman, death became the price for their betrayal. However, there was still more suffering to come. Because woman had eaten from the tree and enticed man to do the same Genesis 3:16 says, “To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

So, notice that what was given to woman by Yahweh were punishments, not commandments. Because of what the woman had done, childbearing would become very painful, and she will have such a desire for her husband that he will come to rule over her. In other words, there will be many women whose husbands will be domineering. They will have no respect for their women and these women will so desire to be loved by their husbands that they will endure the ways in which they are mistreated.

In our world today, and since the fall of mankind, there is plenty of evidence to support that the punishment rendered on woman has always been in full effect. In some places around the world, woman have no rights. They aren’t even allowed to be seen in public by other men and have no choice but to cover themselves from head to toe.

Now to clarify once more, woman is being punished and even though many women will have to endure time with domineering men, it does not mean that Yahweh has called men to be domineering.

Ephesians 5: 25–33 says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husband’s ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Though woman will certainly continue to be punished for her transgressions, as men Yeshua calls on us to love our wives. We should not use woman’s punishment as an excuse to treat our companions like property. They should always be treated humanely.

Man’s punishment according to Genesis 3:17–19 says “To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

Notice that once again, Yahweh punishes man for his transgressions. He does not command him. Man’s punishment is that he would have to work incessantly in order to put food on the table. This does not mean that all the labor that needs to be done should fall on man. However, it does mean that regardless of how much we may work to help alleviate the punishment Yahweh has set in stone, there will be men who will have to toil. Just remember that woman was made to be man’s helper. This means, my fellow brothers, that she is capable of more than we sometimes give her credit for. She is not a helpless creation.

To my ladies, as prideful as man can be, he is need of your help. Despite whatever front he may try and put up; man needs woman. And it is the responsibility of the woman to support man in every way.

Ephesians 5 21–24 says “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Together, man and woman, make a formidable team. However, they are nothing without Yahweh in the picture. Man and woman were created by Yahweh and for Yahweh. Therefore, Yahweh should always be at the center of every marriage. As long as we put our Savior’s needs before our own, it can help us to overcome any obstacles we may face. It will ensure that man continues to love and respect Yahweh while guiding his family in the ways of righteousness. It will also ensure that woman submits to her husband out of reverence while playing the supportive role she was created for.

This conversation will continue in part 2 where we talk about the roles of man and woman outside of marriage.